Little Miss Chemist

Picture taken from http://startupstockphotos.com/

I started working as soon as I turned 16. I never thought that I would start working at that very early age. When I was still in the Philippines, I had the plan of just going to finish college, and start working after college, which was when I turned 21. But plans are meant to be changed. My parents decided that it would be better to immigrate to America. Now in America, it is very normal for a 16-year-old to work part time, and since I wanted to visit the Philippines, I decided to start working and saving up money.

My first job was at a smoothie place called Froots. I definitely enjoyed it. I was working with my really good friend, who recommended me to the owner of the store. It was the perfect high school job, maybe up until college, too. I stayed there until I was a freshman in college. I moved jobs because I had the opportunity to work as a CNA at an assisted living. I was a nursing student as I entered college, but eventually switched to a Chemistry student after a couple of changes in my life. I've always had at least one job, but there was a point in college when I had the opportunity to work as a lab aide, which means I get to sit down at the Chemistry stockroom, clean labs, and just do homework when there's nothing that needs to be done. At one point, I was a full time student at a university and actually have three jobs: I was a lab aide, a CNA, and a sales associate at Charlotte Russe.

I've always worked hard and I won't stop until I get where I want to get. I don't know where I want to be yet, but I am pretty sure I will get there.

This is a recent thing for me!

For those of you who really know who I am know that I worry a lot. It definitely is difficult not to overthink about something, well at least for me.

I have a co-worker who I talk to a lot, and I guess we've developed some kind of a friendship. One day, I came to work, and I just felt really sad. Someone reconnected with me and told me why we stopped talking. I know for a fact that I can take criticisms, if they make sense, but this reason just didn't make sense to me. Instead of getting mad about it, I just got sad. I was thinking that it was a really petty thing, but that's just my opinion. As soon as I got to work, my coworker asked me what was wrong, so I explained what happened. Then my coworker told me, "That's the lamest excuse ever," and then went on about how "stupid" the reason was. Towards the end, my coworker said, "My father once told me to never let anyone rent space in your head for free. You should do the same."

It is not easy. I tend to dwell on whatever people say about me. But then, if you think about it, you can't really please everyone. Some people will just say mean things to you just to make them feel good about themselves, and it's not your fault if that ever happens.

So this is what I told myself, "I'll take my coworkers advice and try my best to not even let anyone rent space in my head for free!" So far, it's been going great. All I care about are the people who actually care about me, and I feel like there is less things for me to worry about.

You should try it. Maybe go for a week, a month, without having to think about anybody who doesn't really add value to your life. See the changes that happen!

xx

Photo taken from http://mmtstock.com/

Just because I moved out of my parents' house does not mean I'm an expert at giving advice on moving out. Here are just a few things that I learned as Grant and I were moving to our new place.

1.) Make a List

I'm a big "list" person. Whether it is a to-do list, or bucket list, I like making them. This helped a lot when Grant and I were planning on moving out. We made a list of what we want in an apartment and what we don't want, and different sorts of things. Since I'm a big fan of lists, I'm going to try to help you out.

Here are the things I made a list of:

1. What I want in an apartment
2. List of possible apartments
3. Pros and cons to each apartment
4. What I have for the apartment
5. What I still need for the apartment

Those are just a few things that I made a list of. Each list is dependent on who is making it. Just know when to stop making the list! When Grant and I were looking for an apartment, the challenge that I had was actually narrowing down the apartments that I actually want to see and that the apartments that I don't care much of. You don't want to be just viewing apartments, you must know when it's time to make a decision on which apartment you'd go for.

2.) Start collecting hand-me-downs

During college, I decided to room in with a friend for one year. Since then, I have just started collecting hand-me-downs from family and friends. And not only that, I started shopping around several thrift stores, such as Goodwill and Salvation Army. Sometimes, I get this idea in my head that I wanted all of our furniture to be new and to be specifically made for us, but if you're just starting out, here's what you need to keep in mind: It doesn't have to be new or expensive.

The couch that we currently have right now was an old couch that my parents used to have. It definitely is not the best couch, but it works well still, so we just decided to keep it. It also goes well with the colors of the furniture that we have been buying from IKEA.

If you can't find anything cheap at the thrift store, it's okay. Buying items from the thrift store doesn't necessarily mean that you're being smart about your money. When Grant and I were looking for a dining set, we couldn't find anything that was 1.) in our budget; 2.) match everything else. We were going to be okay with the dining set if it didn't really go well with our other furniture, but if it definitely is not in our budget, then we are knew that we would not purchase it. We found a couple of dining sets in several thrift stores that cost about $150, and they looked beat up. We knew that we were not going to be happy with the furniture if we bought it, just because it was in the thrift store. We did research on how much dining sets are from other stores, but none really worked out well for us, except for IKEA. Some would argue that IKEA is not really the best place to shop for furniture, but I think if you just got out of college, trying to start living on your own, IKEA is the best place to get what you need.

But don't take my word for it. Make sure you do your research and compare prices. You'll definitely find the right fit for you!

3.) Budget

Growing up, my parents made sure that I know how to budget my money. For a certain amount of time, when I was trying to save up money to go to the Philippines, I was saving money really well. But now, I have been wanting to buy more and more things. Grant made sure that I understand that we can't just spend all our money in things that I just want and not actually need. I mean, I understood that pretty well, but it was definitely not easy not spending money on things like make up and shoes.

Take time to sit down and maybe set up an excel sheet. Make sure you narrow down the necessary purchases and the unnecessary purchases. Do you really need to get another lipstick shade when you still have 5 other ones? Try to see what the maximum rent you can pay every month. You don't want to be looking at an apartment that is way more than what you actually need, Be realistic.

4.) Shop around

Don't settle on whatever you see first. Make sure you have a good amount of apartments you want to see, but not too much where you get too overwhelmed looking at apartments. Maybe a good number of options is five. Then as you go along, make sure to narrow it even more until you find the perfect place.

5.) Visits

Go and visit your top apartment contenders. Make sure to prepare the questions you want to ask the landlord or landlady. As you do your visits, try to make your list smaller. Narrow down your options to make the decision-making easier for you. If you are looking for an apartment with a roommate or a partner, make sure you have time in between each visit to sit down and talk about the apartment that you just saw. It's important to hear what the other person has to say. Also, keep in mind what they say. Make sure that you are compromising, but at the same time not compromising too much to a point where you think you wouldn't be too happy living in the apartment. Remember: It's your place, too. It's your sanctuary.

6.)  Execute

After finding the place, go ahead and sign the lease. Pack your stuff and get going! It would be an anxiety-filled move, but it would be a very rewarding feeling. Gather your friends and family so they can help with moving. I'm pretty sure they'd be excited to help you, and see your new place. I had a couple of friends help Grant and I move to our apartment, and in return I made them a delicious Filipino style spaghetti.


I hope my list helped you figure out which apartment you end up moving to. If you have a different set of list, please share them.

It's easier said that done!

©Aeizha Sarinas

I grew up in the Philippines, where we refuse to admit, but Filipinos are very judgmental people. That's how "chismis" gets around. My parents always told me, "don't do this", "be like this", and I don't blame them. People are just very mean; it's just easy for them to make up something in their heads rather than approaching it in a more mature manner. I know; I am guilty of this, too. This is why "Be yourself" is my first commandment!

To be fully myself in this journey, I have to know who I am first. Who am I? Who is Nikki? What are my likes and dislikes? What are the things that I enjoy doing the most, and what are the things I refuse to do? Well here it is.

My parents decided to name me Nathanielle Monique. When I was still in the Philippines, I would write my whole name all the time. They considered Nathanielle Monique as my first name, then middle name would be my mother's maiden name, In America, it's different. Nathanielle is my first name, then Monique is my middle name, so imagine in a teacher's roster, my name would just be Nathanielle M. Guevarra. Considering how long Nathanielle is, it would usually get cut off after the first L, so professors would  think that when they are calling my name, they are looking for a guy. They would always have that surprised face when I raise my hand. One professor even asked me if I was sure I am Nathanielle. "Yup, since birth!" I responded.

Because of the confusion, I have been wanting to legally change my name to just Nikki, my nickname. When I had the chance to do that, I didn't, and just kept Nathanielle. Yes, my dad did tell me that I shouldn't change it. But that wasn't the reason why I didn't change my name. I've been living my whole life as a Nathanielle. Why would I change who I grew up to be just because some people cannot accept the fact that when they are looking for a Nathanielle, they are looking for a girl, they are looking for me. So, yep! I kept my name. People can keep doubting me that I am Nathanielle, but whatever! I love my name, and this is who I am.

Apart of being a dork, I am also a NERD! Yep, you heard me, a NERD. I'm not just saying that because being a nerd is "in" right now. I don't even know if it actually is in right now, but I am. The first time I have seen a Star Wars movie, I already fell in love with it. I'm not as big of a nerd as others claim themselves to be. I have not read a single comic book, I like the episodes I-III of Star Wars better than IV-VI (yes, be disappointed), and I don't collect all Star Wars memorabilia, but I still consider myself as a nerd. I love Star Wars, Harry Potter, Marvel superheroes, and I play some video games. I guess I don't really have to explain myself much on this, but once I get my blog going, you'll realize how much of a nerd I really am. Initially, Grant and I wanted to name this blog Two Nerds in a Pod (coz we're both nerds, sorry babe), but it was already taken.

I love reading, playing instruments, painting, cooking, baking, and cleaning. These things I really like doing, but since I've been really busy, I haven't had the chance to actually do any of this (except for cleaning). The last book I "read" was The Happiness Project, and I didn't really read it; I listened to the audiobook. Right now, I'm in the process of actually reading Harry Potter, since Grant already finished reading the whole series again. I haven't played MichelAngelo (this is my acoustic guitar) in a while, and I'm pretty sure he feels sad that he's just collecting dust at home. I make sure that he's dusted, though! The canvas that's sitting on my easel has been unfinished since last year, and I just need to make little adjustments to it, and it will be done, but I still can't find the time to do it. Cooking! I loooove cooking. Living with Grant made me practice cooking more. No, he doesn't make me cook all the time. He occasionally cooks, too, but I volunteer more, so I can be better at it (and post recipes here)! I haven't really baked anything after moving. Grant and I are still missing a couple of kitchen appliances to actually be able to bake, so I am just waiting for those, and I'll be baking a lot of cookies, maybe even try to bake a cake, and using both buttercream and fondant! Cleaning, that's the only thing I actually still do now. I mean, who would want a dirty home, amirite? Every chance I get, I tend to organize things more than they need to. Or I organize one way, and see something else on Pinterest, and try to do it the next week. I always feel like I need to keep Grant updated on how I organized certain things. I did this a lot when I was still living with my parents. My bedroom always has a different layout every month.

Now to get a little bit more serious.

©Joy Foronda

I am Nikki, and I do have depression and anxiety. I definitely feel a lot better than before, but there are still some days where I would feel "off". Some people would not accept the fact, or even believe me, that I have depression because I would always look so happy in front of people. Sorry to break it to you, but sometimes what you see right now is not what you see behind closed doors. I am very lucky though because the man that I am with (Grant, if you still haven't figured it out) has been very supportive of me. The past year that we have been together, I think that he's made me feel more open about how I am feeling. It was very difficult to try to open up to people, especially if they are not very open-minded about it. I had dated someone long time ago, and I would try to open up to this person about how I am feeling, and this person would just tell me, "why are you being sad about that?" or "some people have it worse than you do". Honestly, that didn't really help me. I know someone out there has it worse than I do, but right now, I feel like the world is collapsing on me. I don't need to know what happened with some other people who I have never met before. Because of how this person would react to my episodes, I have just decided to keep everything to myself, which didn't really help me a whole lot. Apart from that, I know someone who always thought that I am depressed because this person is depressed, too, and we hang out a lot. It was a series of not-so-good people surrounding me, and it was just pulling me down even more.

©Morgan Hirschfield, check out her blog @ marvellouslymorgan.com

When I started dating Grant, I was a bit hesitant to actually open up about all of my episodes. But as we gotten more serious, I decided to be brave and try to explain myself so he'd understand me better. It was the best decisions I have ever made! He doesn't always know what to tell me when I'm having my episodes, but he always knows what to do: give me a tight hug and rub my back, sometimes kisses on my cheek and forehead, too! Sometimes, I don't even need to explain myself to Grant. All I tell him, "Babe, I feel eckkk." And he responds back, "Well someone deserves more hugs and kisses tonight, then!" It's nice to know that there are still people who care.

I was more open to my parents about my depression. At first, they seem like they were refusing to believe that one of their daughters has depression, but the more I am open with them, the more they understand. Because of this, my parents have been more understanding of me, and they give more advice and just more supportive of me.

©Nikki Guevarra, Picture taken by Grant

AMBIVERT. That's what I am. I am an ambivert, a balance of extrovert and introvert features. I enjoy being around my friends, hanging out with them, but I also enjoy being alone and nobody around me, except for Grant. When I discovered that there is such a thing, there was this someone I know that claims that I am not really an ambivert. Let's hide this person in the name of John. I told John that I enjoy being around people, but there are days where I just want to stay home and do nothing, and just not be around people. John thought that he knows me better than I know myself and told me, "You're not really an ambivert. An ambivert is someone like me. I just hang out with people I am comfortable with but I enjoy my alone time". I just nodded at John and thought to myself, that's exactly what I had just said about myself. According to John, I am not an ambivert, but who is John to tell me who I am and who I am not?

This post ended up being longer than I expected. Opening up to people is a bit scary, but you shouldn't be scared of who you are. Whoever you are, you are a beautiful person. You don't need to explain yourself to anybody. The people who matter to your life will accept you for whoever you are. If they can't accept you, then you don't need them. You don't need to negativity from other people. As to what my co-worker tells me, "you do you, boo-boo".


xx